Justyn's
List
Posted by Justyn on June 11, 1999 at 08:37:30:
Hi all,
Here's the list of Why you Quit Smoking.....your reasons and what you hated, despised about smoking. While reading all these as I was putting it together....i thought it was amazing how I could relate to 95% of them. I hope you can also. Print it out and put it somewhere where it'll be easy to see....and thanks again to all of you who contributed to this...we can't help eachother enough and I think this is one great way to put our resources together to fight those damn demons!!....yeah...let's get em:
WHAT I HATED THE MOST ABOUT SMOKING:
1) It gives you a disgusting, wet cough that makes other people gag when they hear it.
2) I hated the pain I saw in the eyes of my sons as they watched me light up.
3) I despised trying to hide my nasty habit from nonsmokers and feeling ashamed.
4) I despised having young people who smoke asking me for a smoke or a light, and saying thanks with a look of admiration like I was oh so cool, and me feeling like crap cause I felt like I was assisting in their suicide and giving a false impression of my beliefs about smoking just 'cause I was addicted myself;
5) nicotene hangovers after nights of really heavy smoking;
6) It makes your laugh turn into that disgusting cough.
7) I hated lying to the doctor when he asked how much I smoked. How could I say 2 packs? I always fudged and I hate not telling the truth.
8) burning holes in clothes that were my favorites or were even brand new.
9) I hated accepting invitations when I did not know if I would be allowed a place to smoke or not.
10) Carrying breath spray everywhere--especially on dates (and wondering if the guy would ever ask me out again after he kissed my ashtray mouth).
11) I hated accepting invitations that included a long car ride with non-smokers.
12) I hated spending so much money on something that was shortening my life and the lives of those around me.
13) having to empty full ashtrays (yuck!!!)
14) I hated myself and my clothes constantly smelling like an ashtray.
15) The disappointed lookon my friends and families face, when he smells the cigarette smoke
16) not being able to sit through a meeting without wondering when I could get a cigarette.
17) I hated standing out in the rain 'cause there's no way I was gonna smoke in my new house
18) I found it really gross to have to stink so bad and sometimes having yellow stains on my fingers or pulling a pen out of my purse for someone to use and it's got tobacco crud all over it.
19) Always under the weather, chronic sinus infection, cough, bronchitis, "allergies", etc.
20) pretending to parts of my family that I don't smoke (and knowing they probably know better).
21) The thing I hated most of all about smoking was my own low self-esteem. Continuing to smoke even though I knew that it was killing me. Trying to quit and being unsuccessful only made things worse.
22) Fussing at my daughter for being between me and the ashtray--I mean what's more important, the cigarette or her? (I REALLY hated this).
23) I hated that I ducked giving certain people hugs because I did not want them to smell my hair or clothing. I hated smelling like an ashtray.
24) I dont miss the terrible headaches...the worst.
25) I hated being so addicted that I sometimes could not see a whole movie, play, etc, without taking a smoke break.
26) I really hated a lot of stuff about it, but most of all that I felt so powerless, like I couldn't stop doing it, despite all those reasons, like somehow it was always gonna be more important than me.
27) I found it as gross smoking out in the 100 degree weather, feeling like my lips and lungs were on fire, but feeling compelled to do it anyway.
28) the heavy feeling in my chest and the morning cough!!
29) Oh, and I really hated wondering if my kids would be smokers 'cause it's what ya do not what ya say that counts, and I wondered if they'd be the ones to get cancer or emphysema due to my unsolicited support of smoking.
30) High risk of emphysema (according to my physician)
31) One really horrible thing to hate about smoking is how the addiction can make you dig around in your car ashtray to find a not-too-smoked butt that will hold you over until you can buy more...and....then trying to light it to smoke it in a way that you hope no one in the car next to you knows how really sick you are...That's depraved. That's being addicted to cigarettes.
32) embarassment at having to go outside to smoke.
33) I hated looking in the mirror and thinking I looked older and more decrepit than I should've.
34) Constantly having to excuse myself so I could smoke.
35) Smoked when pregnant--REAL GUILT with this one.
36) getting obsessed on how I was gonna get away from my family at gatherings so I could have a cigarette since none of them smoke, then returning to ugly looks 'cause the green cloud follows ya whether you like it or not.
37) It makes you smell so much like a full ashtray (not just smoke but a full ashtray) that non-smokers will take a step or two back from you (ever notice?) during conversation.
38) Most activities made me out of breath.
39) I hated wondering every day about whether or not I'd get lung cancer or if I'd be unfortunate enough to get to languish in a slow and painful death like emphysema.
40) Hiding from my kids when smoking, cause even my 6 year old knows how bad it is for you.
41) the money I spent on those stupid things.
42) worrying about lung cancer and carrying around an oxygen bottle.
43) I hated it the day my middle son came home from school and told me the teacher had asked him if he smoked. He told her "no, but my mom does". Boy was I proud!?!?!
44) out of breath with the smallest physical activity.
45) I hated the feeling of being less of a person, less of a human that many non-smokers tried to make me feel like. I'm sure you know the feeling.
46) I hated smoking when I had already buried two non-smoking parents because of cancer. If they had cancer and didn't smoke… how much more were my chances? Did that stop me?
47) terrible coughing and hacking in the morning
Almost 50 great reasons. I hope we can do this again sometime.....I know that i need to break my denial occasionally with something like this.....for my addiction, it's taking a lot of time/work right now....but I want to try and build a foundation for the rest of my smokefree time to somewhat rest on.....I really have to remind myself several times a day why i'm doing what i'm doing.....otherwise it doesn't seem so bad anymore.......as i've said many times before, i'll talk myself right into it.... so......when the time comes that I don't want to look at this stuff.....and I'm in denial....I'm in a danger zone. if I ever stop reminding myself of any of the above, please, any of you...ram it down my throat...no kindness necessary here....it's my life that this denial and demon wants to kill. ok...so with that...i'll just leave you with the fact that i'll be back in a month or 2... bugging you again...*g* asking the same or perhaps different questions so we can again combine our resources and fight this demon together.
goodnight
:-) justyn,
NEW ADDITIONS
Laura
08-17-99
My boyfriend got an adorable little kitten for me. He said that Stanley (Her full name is Lord Stanley of Preston, after the guy who started the Stanley Cup. I'm a huge Dallas Stars fan!)would have a calming affect on me when I start stressing out. Also, every time I want to smoke, it makes me stop and think about what it is doing to her poor little lungs. She doesn't have any say in the matter!
Anne2
09-15-99
Seeing the look in my husband's eyes when I am rushed, once again, to
the hospital with an asthma attack. Underneath the panic and concern,
there was blame.
Tommyboy
09-28-99
Death is forever
Sheri
09-30-99
Am I the only one who will wait for an hour for a seat in the smoking section of a restaurant?
tabbecatt
10-03-99
The thing that really struck fear in my heart was when my son who is 4 years old....started holding a pretzel stick to his lips and pretended it was a cigarette...so he could be like mommy. I will never forget that as long as I live.
CNM
10-03-99
When you are in the mood for a bit of slap and tickle with your significant other and they give you this grossed out look and tell you to brush your teeth.
rach
10-03-99
My son asking me when I was going to quit smoking!!the look people gave me when I lit up!My wanting to have a baby and knowing how horrible it is on the fetus!And I just found out that nicotine is used as an insecticide!!YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2020 Communications
10-12-99
The way I make sure I have health insurance, use a seatbelt, tell people how to be careful about this and that, and still smoke.
When I receive an invitation, the first thing I think about is where and when I'll be able to smoke. If it's too restricted, I don't even want to go.
Being surrounded by non-smokers, going outside to smoke, having to ask for an ashtray and then use one of their dishes because they haven't had an ashtray in their house for years -- if ever. Then, having to smell up their garbage with my cigareette butts. You know you're in bad shape when you worry about smelling up people's GARBAGE!
Being angry at the people who don't smoke for being high and mighty.
The fact that if I get really sick from it, I'll have not only the pain
but also the blame.
Amorée
11-02-99
My reason for quiting smoking along with several others is "To have more control over my life". I am responsible for my own actions, I can not blame smoking on peer pressure, the tobacco industry, or society. God gave us all free will. It is what we do with it that gives us our true character.
JudyMichelle
11-02-99
Lying back on my pillow at night and trying to hide the sound of my wheezing from my significant other.
Lindalou
11-13-99
I lost my left kidney to kidney cancer in March. For 24 years I've been married to a man who promised to love me for the rest of my life. He demanded a divorce without counseling 8 weeks ago...he abandoned me...I have two wonderful sons, one is to be married in Sept. and I want to be there and enjoy grandchildren someday, even if it is not to be with my husband. I am a teacher of middle school students and absolutely adore my students...I
hide my smoking habit too...I have not been able to call my mother and talk to her about this crisis I am in now, for she worried and cared for me so much in March. I want to live and be well for her, my children, my brothers, my friends...for those reasons...and that I love life, I want to get this awful habit, "butt", out of my life. Thanks for being out there...
PEACHS
11-21-99
Trying to flick ashes out the car window only for them to blow back in on you. Or worse, those in the back seat.
Cupping a cigarette to keep the wind from blowing it out and putting the wrong end in your mouth.
Taping that last cigarette back together until you can get to the store.
Forgetting about the tape and smoking it!!!
Relighting a butt that seemed long enough but your bangs were longer, key word there, were because you singed them.
Putting out your cig in the ashtray only after you realize your daughter put the hair from the brush in the tray first.
Going into a meeting and realizing you smell of strong smoke and people back away from you as you try to whisper something to someone.
Catching your 12 year old son smoking and trying to tell him how bad it is while you light up in front of him during your rampage of how he shouldn't...
S.D. LaRose
12-04-99
Control of my life:
More time!
More money!
Find healthier alternatives to control my stress!
Feel strong – feel proud of dominating the addiction!
No more freezing outside for a smoke!
Family issues:
I want more time with my family!
I want to be there for my son!
I want to grow old with my partner!
I want another child!
I want to gain the respect of my partner!
I want to be healthy so I can enjoy a long life!
I never want to say, "It's too late"!
Health issues:
Phlebitis (I'm genetically prone to it!)
Heart disease (I'm genetically prone to it!)
Lung cancer
Breast cancer (I'm genetically prone to it!)
Other cancers
Other lung diseases
Stroke Bronchitis
Pneumonia
Emphysema
Other respiratory illnesses
Osteoporosis
Early menopause
I never want to say, "It's too late"!
The young die too!
susan marinelli
12-17-99
1. The look of pity in the eyes of my family and friends when I lit up.
2. My dog waking up in the morning and coughing and sneezing right along with me. Cough for cough and sneeze for sneeze, he could match me.
3. Wheezing even when I was sitting on the couch.
4. Not being able to walk up ONE flight of stairs without wheezing.
5. Having my doctor shrug his shoulders when I complained of symptoms.
6. The way my car, apartment, clothes and hair smelled.
Wayne Waltner
02-02-00
1. Being outside playing with my kids with a cancer stick in my mouth and
watching them breathe in
second hand smoke.
2. Sneaking around corners to suck down a quick cig and hoping no one
noticed you were missing from the party.
3. Dropping the cig from your mouth as you are driving and having to find
it before the car goes up in flames.
4. Being down to your last cig and not being able to get to a store for
another pack.
5. Having non smokers nag you "When are ya gonna quit that stupid habit?"
6. Always smelling like an ashtray.
7. Seeing my 3 year old holding a lollipop with two fingers and pretend to
be smoking it to imitate dad.
8. The heavy feeling within my chest and difficulty breathing.
9. Running out of breath just going up a flight of stairs.
10. Having the wind blow a hot ash into your eye as you're lighting up.
Holly
03-10-00
I'm quitting because I gave my dear little parakeet Sasha a respiratory infection that almost killed her. She was miserable. Her poor little lungs!
Diana
03-18-00
I asked my youngest daughter ( four years old) why she wanted Mommy to stop smoking. She said, and I quote, " Because you might die. And I don't want you to die." What more do you need?!?!
J Crutchfield
03-10-00
All of the above and when you have to make sure you don't smile to big so people won't see your cigarette stained teeth.
Jess
05-19-00
About six years ago a good friend of mine came up to me and gave me a big hug, With tears in his eyes he said "Jess I have one good reason that I want you to quit smoking and that is because I love you to much to lose you. He said would you please quit I don't want you to die. When I smoked someone said to me " Smoking will not get you to hell but make you smell like you have already been there.
Yimmy
06-08-00
1. Your 4 year old daughter goes to hold your hand and gets burned by a cigarette.
2. Your wife asks your 3 year old son what do you want to get Daddy for Christmas and he replies "a whole buncha' cigarettes".
Paul-CO
06-11-00
Naturally to prolong my own life but it was reinforced in October when my friend/cat of 13 years died and I wondered how much of an effect my smoking had on his shortened life.... We were very close... Never again.
Royann
06-11-00
I have lots of reasons but my #1 reason for quitting was my husband's health. If I quit then it gave him more insentive to quit. His father had his first by-pass at 49 due to heart disease caused by years of heavy smoking. His mother died a few years later of lung cancer and 4 yrs after his mom passed his dad passed of lung cancer. I don't want that happening to my husand. I want to grow old with him not alone or because of him. I've been stopped 4 weeks and now he's quitting. Theres hope for our future after all and that's my goal !!! AND my sons won't have to explain to their kids why their grandparents aren't around for them , like we have to explain to our children now !
Mari
07-13-0
My reason to quit smoking is to have the opportunity of choosing my own decision. I did not want to wait until I was forced to stop because of an illness. I started to smoke under peer pressure. When I grew older, I had the opportunity to choose and I decided to smoke. God create people intelligent and with free will. I never liked anybody to tell me what to do and I always liked to be in control of my self. Certainly, cigarettes were taking control over me. I am going to my fifth day and all I can say is that
it has not been easy but I m proud of my self. In almost 20 years, I have control over them.
Gail
02-23-00
June 2000 - My 13 year old son (the love of my life) asks me why I am trying to kill him with second hand smoke. My heart drops to the floor.....I try to explain I am not trying to kill him, and he digs in his heels and says "Prove it. Quit smoking." Now I know with this sickening feeling in my heart that proving I
don't want to kill him by quitting smoking is probably going to be the hardest thing I ever do. And I know, it should not be that way at all. My self-esteem drops a few notches, especially when I remember I couldn't even quit while I was pregnant with this child of mine. What kind of Mom am I??? I HATE the shame that goes with smoking. For him and for me,, I have recently quit. It's hard, very hard. Now I am in a battle pitting smoking against the love of my son. That is not right. But I do think I will win this battle and be smoke free. For once in my life, I can truly imagine myself not smoking. After 13 years, Andy (my son), I think I can do this. For me and for you.
karenc
08-09-00
Most of the above. The last straw was hearing my 17 year old cocaine-addicted daughter tell me that I should understand how hard it is for her to stop using the drug of her choice, she said that after all, she has seen me try to quit smoking and fail for all of her life. If I can't overcome my addiction, how can I expect her to overcome hers? -Karen
ina murray
08-10-00
I'm stopping smoking for my Grandaughter who will be born in December, i dont want her to screw up her face at the smell of smoke like her mother, I just want her to breath in nice fresh air and there is loads of that here in Scotland.Apart from that it has made the rest of my family so happy i just want to stay quit forever if i can.
Sheila
08-19-00
Because I owe it to myself, and my children.. to do all that remains for me to do, to insure that I will be here for my grandchildren,,, and I have to pray that its not too late....
Because its the right thing to do....
Because..I don't want to see my grandchildren look at me the way my children used to when they would ask.. "Why do you smoke, Mom? You know its bad for you? It will kill you... Don't you want to be around for us?"
Because I'm tired of the way my house, clothes, car, breath, life smells....
Because I don't want to pay for the tobacco company's ability to grow more tobacco, create more cigarettes, kill more people....
And because I don't want to pay any more taxes on cigarettes to a government that will not make them illegal... sues tobacco companies on our behalf... and then profits from the addiction they all knew about and allowed to be perpetrated...
Because, I want to spend my hard earned money on something of value....
MERRYMOON 11
02-22-01
You will not be the only one outside smoking at your own BABY SHOWER
Vince
02-27-01
My son would be doing something that was not good for him I would tell him to quit, he would say, well you
smoke. One hell of an example I was.
Sharon
02-28-01
So I can become part of society again, And stop living the life of a hermit
Jess
03-20-01
HAVING EMPHYSEMA at age 51 and looking back 10 years ago when my physician warned me that my 'clock' was 'ticking' right down to having problems due to smoking. Denial was so handy then...now I have X rays which cannot cover up the LIES I told myself because I did not want to give up smoking and all which kept me prisoner to being addicted. All of the MANY reasons of why I smoked are now staring me down and I have no cigarette to hide behind. Guess what? It feels like hell and sure, I "want" a smoke really badly; could eat one. But, if I smoke, ALL THIS CRAP that bothers me, the underlying reasons of why I love the addiction will still be right here inside of me and cannot be masked over by a *SHROUD OF NICOTENE.*
Christina
04-08-01
I want to quit because i love my chirldren.. Because my oldest daughter has told me mom the second hand
smoke can kill me...Because i waste money and my health on them. Also because of being sick all winter I
just want to quit and have support.....Because i want to see my grandchildren born.....
Dean
04-10-01
I'm more afraid to not make the decision than I am to make the decision.
I've stopped and started too many times; its getting to be a bad habit.
I really don't want to commit slow suicide...and haven't wanted to for decades.
I can not lie to myself, or make excues for myself anymore.
Allen
04-12-01
I quit for Lynda, the love of my life. My quitting makes her smile more, where before she had a look of tired resignation, as I choked her with cigarette smoke, sitting in the murky smoking areas of restaurants and bars...
Jen
04-25-01
I quit 3 weeks ago so that I could have better immune system..basically I am sick of being sick.
I also want to be able to breathe better and regain a sense of smell.
I am tired of sinus infections. And I am tired of trying to find opportunities to smoke whenever I can.
I want to live longer and be healthier. I want to have healthy children someday. I want to run up a flight of stairs without gasping for air.
Dawn
07-20-01
For myself, my husband, my family, and BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE A BABY!
It's been 4.5 days!! :) I can do it!
Kesa
08-04-01
My reasons are simple. I will not smoke another sickarette. I am a smoke away from a pack a day, 4 months smober and I want to be here for my future kids and grandkids. It's real hard to smoke when your 4 year old son imitates you smoking and you yell "No, that's naughty you could die" and he says "does that mean you'll die and I won't have a mommy? Also my friend lost her husband age 43 to lung cancer. They have 2 boys ages 6 and 8 yrs. I love myself and my family. I deserve to be happy and healthy. I love life, and I will treat myself with respect and dignity.
OLDRNDRT
08/05/2001
YES I DO!
THEY ARE NAMED : PATI, PAUL, & JENNIFER (MY KIDS) ALSO BILL (DECEASED, BECAUSE OF ANOTHER TYPE OF ADDICTION)
JESSICA, HEATHER, CLINT, LEVI, MARLEE ANN, ISAIAH, AMBER, & JOSH. (MY
GRANDKIDS). AND MERCEDES MY GREAT-GRANDDAUGHTER.
Jay Sorensen
08-29-01I don't want to die of lung cancer or something equally painful. (I would
like to die in my sleep at age 102 after a really good dinner and movie.)
My sig. other doesn't smoke.
I'm a volunteer overseas and live on a symbolic little monthly stipend...
and I spend more on cigarettes every month than some families here have as
income. What's wrong with that picture?
The money I spend on cigarettes here in a year could pay for a college
exam... or a child's operation.
My teeth discolor within three months after a cleaning.
I quit once before for a year and a half; why the h*ll shouldn't I be able
to quit for good?
(I am taking advantage of the miserable cold I have -- complete with sore
throat -- to quit. The last time I quit was when I got my wisdom teeth out
and wasn't allowed to smoke for 48 hours. I was amazed at how painless it
was. Please please please, Powers That Be, let it work this time
too........)
Christina Cooper
09-07-01I have 3 cats, a dog, a rabbit, a rat, and a bird. I love them all so
much. I recently found out that second hand smoke causes the same
illnesses in them as in people (like children). I love them too much to
make them sick. And I could never forgive myself if they died of a
disease that could be linked back to my smoking.Also my mother died of cancer and she did not smoke so I am even more at
risk.
Magma
12-13-01The shame of it all. Here's what I mean:
Having my good friend drive 40 minutes in traffic hell at lunch time to meet me for
lunch and then deciding not to have lunch with her because her mother would join
us (I work with her mother). Why you ask? Her mother doesnt know I smoke. I
panicked to think I wouldnt be able to have a cigarette on my lunch break so I
declined to go to lunch with them.Feeling horrible when lighting up a smoke somewhere and seeing people get up and
move away from me.Having to spritz air freshner on my clothes after having a cigarette and having a
lady ask me one time what kind of perfume I was wearing and telling her it was
french. I was sooo ashamed!!Having feelings of anger directed towards my friend when she told me she was
quitting... Couldnt conceal my smile when she told me she couldnt do it and was going
to start again... Aren't I a great friend?!!Picking up that 10th cigarette in a row and lighting it even though you know you
dont need it and your chest feels tighter then one of Britney's Spear outfits.Having a cigarette right before getting on the metro and stinkin' up the entire
car... especially when you just had one when its raining outside. Ughhh!! I smelled
horrible!!!!Offering my friend a cigarette even though she told me she was quitting the day
before.Taxi drivers shouting at me to put down my cigarette as I am having one on the
street. THAT is embarrassing.Always having lunch alone because none of my co-workers know I smoke.
Watching my friend's 1 year old and leaving him in the house by himself so that I
could have my cigarette breaks outside. Don't think she would let me watch him
again if she knew.Oh yea, and this one... Not being able to leave the house to go get smokes so
looking for tabacco remains in my purse, rolling it in printing paper and using a
piece of cotton ball as a filter. Before when I told this story I was actually proud,
now I just feel sick.Walking with my head down when I am walking down the street smoking.
And the last one, telling you all of this and STILL not knowing when I will quit...
THAT I am very ashamed of.
Kristin CA
01-16-02My reasons? ME ME ME and my teeth and my family and my boyfriend's cat and my clothes and my wallet and my car seat and my screaming mother.....and most of all my LIFE
Mike Guerin
01-26-02
My teenage son, during a discussion on drug use at his school and in his peer group:
"Dad, nicotine is a drug right?"
ME: "yes, it is."
My son: "and you've said you would like to quit, but it is hard because it is physiologically and psychologically addictive, right?"
Me: "yes again"
My son: "So, doesn't that make you a drug addict?"
Kids may be young, but they're not dumb.
My main list:
1. I am tired of something controlling me. I don't drink because I don't
like the feeling of not being in control - I need to exercise the same
control over the butts.
2. I hope my kids make me a grandfather some day - and I want to be around
to play with the grandkids.
3. And I don't want to smell like a burnt out building when I hold them.
4. I am tired of feeling like a social pariah.
5. No one else in my house smokes. Even though I smoke only in the garage,
when we are in the car I feel like crap for smoking (even with the windows
rolled down).
6. I am tired of making decisions based on "can I smoke". Hoping for a
smokers lounge at the stopover airport; figuring if I have time to have one
before lunch, or my next meeting, or whatever.
7. Thinking about what kind of hot sports car I could have if I didn't
literally burn thousands of dollars over the years.
8. I have a fantastic wife, who has willingly fought diabetes all her life.
She has worked hard to add years to her life; I have worked hard to take
years off mine. How stupid.
9. I want to travel with the same fantastic wife when I retire. It would be
nice if I lived that long, and could climb the stairs on the cruise ship
without gasping.
10. I am tired of smelling like a cigarette, and hoping I don't stink too
much when I hug friends.
11. Lifestyle - I would like to be able to choose one!
12. Figuring that maybe part of the reason for not getting as much sleep as
I would like is that a) that little bastard Nicodemon is likely waking me up
for his feeding, and b) not as much oxygen going in must make it harder to
sleep deeply.
13. I used to play lots of sports - baseball, basketball, racquetball,
squash, running. I want to get back the lung capacity to do this again.It's all about quality of life. And I want some in mine.
From stacey
07-14-02
because i'm too scared not too...stacey
From Anita
07-16-02
Who will raise my two precious boys ages 4 and 1 when I die from one of the following:
Heart disease
Lung cancer
Other cancers
Other lung diseases
Stroke
Bronchitis
Pneumonia
Emphysema
Other respiratory illnesses
I have wanted to quit for several months now, there have been nights that I have cried when I went to bed wondering what would happen to my children if I
were to pass on.Today is my third day without a cigarette. I have smoked for over 15 years and it is time I took charge of my life and health. My four year old is my
greatest asset, each day he awards me with a sticker. That was how I got him to sleep in his own bed.
Joe Santos
07-19-02Playing Soccer Ball in the yard with my Two year old son with a cigarette in my mouth...what a role model
Jessica Mills
08-07-02I have been smoke free since July 2nd, 2002 finally for the following
reasons:
1) I lost my father at 21 (6 months ago) from a blood disease. He was the
healthiest man who never smoked a day in his life, and I by smoking increase
the risk of my future children experiencing a similar loss early in their
lives.
2) I've had several blood clots in external veins, it only takes one in an
important vein to kill you instantly.
3) My boyfriend that I just moved in with once told his mother that I was
perfect for him except I smoked.
4) Leaving my house at 2:00 a.m. to walk to a corner store alone for
cigarettes
5) Hiding the fact I smoked from so many people. I've never been as ashamed
of anything I've done in my life.
6) The fact that at least now I wake up in the morning and can take a deep
breath without the sharp shooting pains.
7) Not being able to run the half a block needed to catch the bus, missing
it and being late for so many places.
8) My inability to concentrate on anything if I'd been longer than an hour
without a cigarette.
9) Smelling like an ashtray as I taught children between the ages of 8-12
and feeling so guilty if they ever caught me.
10) The way that I smoked about 8 times as much whenever I consumed any
amounts of alcohol, thus making myself so much drunker at night and hung
over in the morning.
11) The disappointment in my mother's eyes, when she had quit the day she
found out she was pregnant with me and was just widowed at 46.
12) My younger brother and sister both of whom were smart enough to not
start smoking.
13) Feeling useless when I couldn't quit.
14) My two kittens
15) Needing that cigarette so badly that I wouldn't eat so I could buy a
pack.
16) Not buying the books I needed for my classes because I was too broke,
but managed to find ways to buy smokes.
17) Buying smokes over Christmas presents.
18) Being late back for class because I had to smoke during my break.
19) Being so out of control that I would choose smoking over: eating,
drinking, going to the washroom, making an important call etc. whenever I
had a limited break at work or school.
20) The fact that I needed 3 cigarettes in the morning before I could even
start my day.
21) Lying to people about how much I smoked.
22) Always justifying why I was smoking.
23) Setting false quit dates all the time, so that people would get off my
back... at least until that day.
24) Either making my non-smoking friends sit in the smoking section of the
restaurant, or leaving them sitting alone at the end of the meal as I stood
outside and smoked.
25) Having my mind occupied all the time with when my next smoke would be,
where I was going to buy my next pack, how I was going to pay for it, how I
could escape my non-smoking friends ... never anything else.Thanks for listening, as this was of course mainly for my benefit, After 8
years... I'm free today.
ChinaCat
08-17-02Know what the worst thing of all was?
My beloved son and daughter-in-law were actually worried they would hurt my feelings when they told me they couldn't bring my brand new
grandson to my house because of the smoke.
Oh how that hurt my heart... not that they wouldn't bring him... that they actually still cared about my feelings over continuing to breathe all
that poison into the air around them
Lisa K.
02-16-03
Why I will succeed this time . . .
I had my first cigarette at age 7, though didn't start smoking regularly until age 12. I'm now 39. I have experienced virtually all of what is written above and have tried to half-heartedly quit many, many times but what really started me thinking again that I should quit is that a friend of my son's father got on my son's case because he smelled like a cigarette. It was my smoke that stuck to him.
And the final nudge I needed to finally succeed. . . My son and I survived carbon monoxide in our home of 600 pps. I have always had low self-esteem and didn't particularly care if I died from lung cancer or not and had always believed I would die young so it didn't matter if I smoked or not. As fate would have it, God allowed us to survive the carbon monoxide scare. As this was a perfect chance to take my life early and didn't, God must have felt there was a reason for my life so I decided to give my life a chance.